Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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