Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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