I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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