garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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