You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
