Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
