So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
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I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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