So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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