i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
