So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
