I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A+ Viking dick
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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