My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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