I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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