ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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