as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize
