Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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