Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
