i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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