Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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