Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
