All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
