my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
