sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
