i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
