I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
