high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
