Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
