She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think a kid would responsible me up
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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