You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
love makes seman taste better
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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