Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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