I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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