Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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