can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
