so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
