You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
