I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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