Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
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Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
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We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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