4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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