I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
