the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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