She's like a pop up book from hell.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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