My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
