If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
