Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
