Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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