She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Sober January is a disaster.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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