Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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