You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
