i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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