One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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