Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
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Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
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Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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