She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
