watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i came on her dog
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
