I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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