Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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