I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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