Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
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I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
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At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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