capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
