I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize