So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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