Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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