nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You made out with two different species that night
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
