2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.