we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
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Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
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Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.