i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”