2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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